Long, Long Time
by The Narrator
Summary: Kaoru was devastated after Kenshin said goodbye and went to Kyoto. A songfic of sorts Narrator has never done one before, set to Linda Ronstadt's Long, Long Time


Many authors have explored the night Kenshin said goodbye to Kaoru, perhaps the most poignant and romantic scene in the entire RK series.  I believe Linda Ronstadt's song is the perfect expression for what might have been going on in Kaoru's mind right after the farewell.  It's a short song, sad and beautiful.

_Disclaimer:_ Rurouni Kenshin is not mine, and neither is the song, "Long, Long Time."  Noboru Watsuki and Linda Ronstadt are their creators, respectively.  I submit this only in admiration of both their talents, without benefit to myself.

**Long Long Time **

You turned and walked away, just like that.  And I couldn't follow…

_Love will abide   
Take things in stride   
Sounds like good advice   
But there's no one at my side_

If I stay like this forever, they'll all start to worry about me.  Yahiko…he was in here already asking about you.  I think he's worried.  I wanted to say something to him, but the words wouldn't come out.  Just as they wouldn't come out after you…I think he's gone to find help.  I can't stay here forever, but I…I just _can't_…get up, Kaoru, get up!

_And time washes clean   
Love's wounds unseen   
That's what someone told me   
But I don't know what it means_

Kenshin?  Kenshin?  I can only make it this far.  This is where you fought and became the Battousai.  It scared me Kenshin, because I thought I would really lose you.  But it didn't matter, did it?  You've gone away anyway, gone to fight because you think you have to.  Why couldn't I have gone with you?

_Cause I've done everything I know   
To try and make you mine   
And I think I'm gonna love you   
For a long, long time_

Remember the first time we met?  You had me fooled, I admit.  But then, that was the point.  You saved my life for the first time…even then, that short moment, I remember what it was like to be in your arms.  And that time on the riverbank, when that madman took me away from you…

_Caught in my fears   
Blinking back the tears   
I can't say you hurt me   
When you never let me near _

Was it my tears that stopped you, stopped you from killing him?  I remembered what you said, what it meant for you to go back on what you have been doing as a rurouni who doesn't kill.  I couldn't let you sacrifice that, not for me.  I understood what it would do to you, and I couldn't be alone again.  You came back to me, but you never…afterward…

_And I never drew   
One response from you   
All the while you fell   
Over girls you never knew _

I wanted to know about your past.  You were hurting because of it, and I wanted to understand, to give you someone to talk to.  But you never opened up about it.  And try as I might, You would just look at me with that smile that never reached your eyes, that painful smile…it made me so angry that you thought you could stay silent.  And your past caught up to you…I tried to keep you from meeting it.  But you slipped from my hands, pulled away from me…

_And I've done everything I know   
To try and make you mine   
And I think it's gonna hurt me   
For a long, long time _

I didn't care what that wolf said.  I wasn't going to get out of the way for _him.  _You had protected me too many times; it was my turn to be your shield.  I didn't care that you were changing right in front of me, going back…

_Wait for the day, you go away   
Knowing that you warned me   
Of the price I'd have to pay _

"I am a wanderer and I don't know when I might leave again."  You warned me then, didn't you?  I didn't listen, I couldn't listen to what you said.  Even when you swore to kill him, even when you were ready to throw away everything to kill him, I thought I could reach you one more time…

_And life's full of loss   
Who knows the cost   
Living in the memory   
Of the love that never was_

…but it wasn't enough.

_Cause I've done everything I know   
To try and change your mind   
And I think I'm gonna miss you   
For a long, long time _

It was such a beautiful night.  Odd that a night so beautiful would follow a day so terrible.  But that night was terrible to, in the firefly light as I pleaded with you…and you didn't answer.  I knew then. And you put your arms around me and held me close.  Do you know how often I have wished for, dreamed for, prayed for you to do that?  Why did it have to be that night, that instant that I knew…that I knew I would lose you forever?  Why is it that I can't stop crying?  Why can't I stop my heart from hurting?

_  
And I've done everything I know   
To try and make you mine   
And I think I'm gonna love you   
For a long, long time _


End file.
